{"id":369,"date":"2026-03-27T20:31:14","date_gmt":"2026-03-27T20:31:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/?p=369"},"modified":"2026-03-27T20:31:14","modified_gmt":"2026-03-27T20:31:14","slug":"im-fucking-scared-im-34-and-im-dying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/?p=369","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m fucking scared, I&#8217;m 34, and I&#8217;m dying."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-370\" src=\"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374-300x167.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"368\" height=\"205\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374-300x167.png 300w, https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374-1024x571.png 1024w, https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374-768x428.png 768w, https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374-1536x857.png 1536w, https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/1774643374.png 1664w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 368px) 100vw, 368px\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"flex\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col grow max-w-full\">\n<h1 id=\"post-title-t3_1jmb0vj\" class=\"text-neutral-content-strong m-0 font-bold text-18 xs:text-24 mb-xs px-md xs:px-0 xs:mb-md overflow-hidden\" dir=\"auto\" aria-label=\"Post Title: I\u2019m 34, I\u2019m dying, and I\u2019m fucking terrified.\" aria-describedby=\"feed-post-credit-bar-t3_1jmb0vj\"><strong><em>I\u2019m 34, I\u2019m dying, and I\u2019m fucking terrified.<\/em><\/strong><\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"text-neutral-content\">\n<div class=\"mb-sm mb-xs px-md xs:px-0 overflow-hidden\" data-post-click-location=\"text-body\">\n<div id=\"t3_1jmb0vj-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable pb-2xs [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I have terminal brain cancer. I\u2019m not even sure I want to say what kind. Doesn\u2019t matter. It\u2019s the kind that wins. Doctors are saying months, maybe less if things go south fast. I\u2019ve tried to keep it together for my wife, my daughter (she\u2019s not even 3 yet), my parents, friends\u2026 but I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever been this scared in my life.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-1\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1938507\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong><em>People keep saying \u201cstay strong\u201d or \u201cjust take it one day at a time.\u201d But how the fuck do you do that when every day is just one step closer to leaving the people you love behind?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I look at my daughter and wonder if she\u2019ll remember me at all. That\u2019s the part that\u2019s breaking me the most. Will she remember how I made her pancakes? How I did that dumb little bunny voice that always made her giggle? Or is she just going to grow up with photos and a couple of videos and that\u2019s it? I watch my wife trying to be strong and holding it together for everyone, and I know she cries in the bathroom so I won\u2019t hear. We haven\u2019t really talked about the end. We sort of pretend it\u2019s not real. Or we talk in practicalities; paperwork, insurance, what she\u2019ll need to do when I\u2019m gone, but not about it. The actual not being here anymore part. I\u2019m scared of the pain, yeah. But more than that I\u2019m scared of missing everything. Her first day of school. Her reading her first book. Her falling in love. I want to be there so badly it physically hurts. I don\u2019t even know what I want from writing this. I guess I just needed to say it out loud. I\u2019m not strong. I\u2019m not brave. I\u2019m just a dad who\u2019s dying and doesn\u2019t want to leave his little girl behind.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-1\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1938507\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h2><strong><em>Here\u2019s what people had to say to OP:<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative bg-yellow-200 bg-opacity-[0.07] rounded-te-[0.5rem] pt-[2px]\">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/FlamingWhisk\/\" aria-label=\"FlamingWhisk's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">FlamingWhisk<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row items-center flex-nowrap gap-2xs pt-[2px]\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 bg-yellow-200 bg-opacity-[0.07]\">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkadjru-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkadjru-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Start writing letters for your daughter and wife for big milestones. Like grad, turning certain areas. Make videos for your daughter reading bedtime stories with special books.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I hope your journey is an easy one.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-1\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1938507\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><span class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:no-underline text-neutral-content-weak\">[waner koen]<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkakgl7-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkakgl7-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Sobbing. This is such a great idea. Wedding video. Put something together so you can \u201cwalk her down the aisle\u201d like a necklace or something she can wear. Get her jewelry with your handwriting on it. Record your voice telling stories to her about your life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/Lepardopterra\/\" aria-label=\"Lepardopterra's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">Lepardopterra<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"absolute top-0 start-0 bottom-0 w-lg xs:w-xl flex justify-center items-center z-0 cursor-pointer group mb-sm\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n<div class=\"w-[1px] h-full group-hover:bg-tone-2 bg-tone-4\" data-testid=\"main-thread-line\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkavlqq-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkavlqq-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Stories about *her* life. How you felt when you found out she was on the way, born, first steps, all of that. Her origin stories will be precious.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-1\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1938507\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/ChronoLink99\/\" aria-label=\"ChronoLink99's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">ChronoLink99<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb1uq0-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb1uq0-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I think both work. She won\u2019t know him. Those videos of his stories will be some of her only connections to him.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/PotentialPractical26\/\" aria-label=\"PotentialPractical26's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">PotentialPractical26<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkbbxjo-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkbbxjo-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>She\u2019ll definitely want to know about her dads life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/b00fart\/\" aria-label=\"b00fart's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">b00fart<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkayyg4-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkayyg4-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>A wedding video is such a good idea. You mentioning voice recordings made me think of Build-a-Bear.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>OP, I hope you see this comment. If you have a Build-A-Bear where you live, you can make a stuffed animal for your daughter and put a voice recording in it. They have bunny stuffies available, you could make one and insert a voice recording of you talking in the silly bunny voice that she loves.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/EmeraldB85\/\" aria-label=\"EmeraldB85's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">EmeraldB85<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<p><strong><em><span class=\"inline-block my-0 mx-2xs text-12 text-neutral-content-weak\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\u2022<\/span><a class=\"text-neutral-content-weak text-12 hover:no-underline focus-visible:-outline-offset-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/TwoHotTakes\/comments\/1jmb0vj\/comment\/mkanrfr\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"><time class=\"text-neutral-content-weak text-12\" title=\"Saturday, March 29, 2025 at 2:28:28 AM UTC\" datetime=\"2025-03-29T02:28:28.009Z\">1y ago<\/time><\/a><span class=\"inline-block my-0 mx-2xs text-12 text-neutral-content-weak\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\u2022<\/span><span class=\"text-neutral-content-weak text-12\">Edited\u00a0<time class=\"text-neutral-content-weak text-12\" title=\"Saturday, March 29, 2025 at 2:32:57 AM UTC\" datetime=\"2025-03-29T02:32:57.012Z\">1y ago<\/time><\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkanrfr-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkanrfr-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Also birthday cards! Buy one for each year and write in them the things you hope for your child at that age, the things you wish you were there to tell them etc.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Edit: if every birthday is too much, try just doing the big years. 10, 16, 18, 21, 25\u2026 maybe an \u201con your wedding day\u201d card. Something to allow her to feel connected to you on those big days.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/FatCouchActivist\/\" aria-label=\"FatCouchActivist's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">FatCouchActivist<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb1q7g-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb1q7g-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I heard about a guy who paid for his wife to get flowers on future special days after he was gone, like anniversaries and birthdays. OP could do something like that for his wife and his daughter.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative bg-yellow-200 bg-opacity-[0.07] rounded-te-[0.5rem] pt-[2px]\">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/bmd539\/\" aria-label=\"bmd539's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">bmd539<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 bg-yellow-200 bg-opacity-[0.07]\">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb4qw2-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb4qw2-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I have a friend whose dad died of cancer when he was 7. His father wrote him many letters before he died. Some of the letters were for specific life events. Some were more general, like, \u201copen this when all seems lost and you don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>My friend is 55 now. He\u2019s been opening those letters for 48 years and he still has some left. He says it has kept his father alive and in relationship with him in a way that has been so special, so important, and so unbelievably potent. He has gotten to go to his dad for advice, to revisit that advice, and to look forward to new \u201cconversations\u201d with him even though he is not physically here. It has made an immense difference to him over the years.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Also, you\u2019re enduring a million heart breaks every day now. Maybe it is opening you to something. I believe, and my faith tradition teaches me, that God often will give us the gift of a broken heart so that we might be filled with beauty, truth, and insight. Belief is a difficult thing, and never solidly built under compulsion, but life\u2014and yes, death\u2014also opens us to deeper levels of what it means to be human.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/LilithReeds\/\" aria-label=\"LilithReeds's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">LilithReeds<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row items-center flex-nowrap gap-2xs pt-[2px]\"><strong><em>Start recording things for her. Those times you know you make her giggle, record it. Wanna read her a bedtime story, record it. Have things you wanna tell her in the future? Record it. While it ain\u2019t replace you actually being there, it\u2019ll be something she can take with her.<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamnbf-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamnbf-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/New-Fig-6025\/\" aria-label=\"New-Fig-6025's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">New-Fig-6025<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"\"><strong><em>Not just letters, videos reading those letters as well.<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkakrf2-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkakrf2-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/ianbuck17\/\" aria-label=\"ianbuck17's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">ianbuck17<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkals66-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkals66-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Create an email account for her and send her a bunch of emails, for her to have later. This is something we are doing for our children.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/tafkatp\/\" aria-label=\"tafkatp's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">tafkatp<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"\"><strong><em>That\u2019s such a thoughtful idea, i have seen it before and know that the recipients appreciate and cherish those letters\/videos\/messages so much.<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamfu7-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamfu7-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I wish I could upvote you a thousand times but unfortunately i can do only one so we have to imagine the extra 0\u2019s .<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Furthermore OP, i wish i had something magical to say that makes you feel better but I honestly don\u2019t know what to say to this and I\u2019m in tears a bit too as your words are piercing through me as I imagine what i would say, do or feel when i eventually will be in your shoes. But please know that i feel for you and keep you in what is my idea of prayers and wish you all the love in the world as well as to your family and hope that you\u2019ll be able to create some beautiful core memories together.\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/2764.svg\" alt=\"\u2764\ufe0f\" \/><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I lost a couple of dear friends to cancer in recent years, one to brain cancer.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I highly recommend following Andrea Gibson. Do your best to make the most of the time that you have left with the people you love. Connect. Say all the things you want to say.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Any of us could have 4 days, weeks or months. It completely fucking sucks that you\u2019re getting your life cut short. There\u2019s no doubt about that.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>But the next time your wife goes in the bathroom to cry, go in there with her. You\u2019re still here. Hold her while you can, don\u2019t leave her alone already.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/Salty-Menu-9510\/\" aria-label=\"Salty-Menu-9510's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">Salty-Menu-9510<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb2y3k-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkb2y3k-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>\u201cYou\u2019re still here. Hold her while you can, don\u2019t leave her alone already.\u201d \u2013 might be the 2 most important sentences in this post.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/Time_Possession3497\/\" aria-label=\"Time_Possession3497's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">Time_Possession3497<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamngi-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkamngi-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>Not me crying like a sad little baby\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f62d.svg\" alt=\"\ud83d\ude2d\" \/><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>This whole post and your answer is heart shatteringly raw and sad\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f614.svg\" alt=\"\ud83d\ude14\" \/><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>OP- make a video of you just talking to the recording as if you were talking to your daughter with all your emotions. Sad, angry and whatever it is you\u2019re feeling as you explain to her what she means to you and what\u2019s going on. The worst thing for those who are left behind is having questions and no one to answer. I often reflect to my sisters sudden passing at the ripe age of 22. I often wonder if she thought about me, was she sad? Was she lonely? Was she looking forwards to seeing me again? Luckily I have a letter a month before and I read it so frequently (it\u2019s 18 years ago now). It\u2019s comforting how she was mocking our uncle and just being her, I got parts of it tattooed on me and it makes me feel like she\u2019s with me always. Let your daughter have those things to see, to hold onto and remember you by. I would go as far as having those voice recorder plushies for her. But a few hand casting kits and do one with your wife, your daughter and one with both. Sorry life is so unfair. Hold both your girls tight every chance you get, smell them deep into your memory and tell them you love them.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>It\u2019s ok to not be ok. I truly hurt for you and your family, may this period be filled with great memories and peace for you.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/Nervous_Resident6190\/\" aria-label=\"Nervous_Resident6190's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">Nervous_Resident6190<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkae7iy-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkae7iy-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>My husband died suddenly last August from an aneurysm. It was a shock. My advice to you is both sentimental and practical. Get your papers in order, do not die without a will. Write your daughter and wife some letters. Make a recording of the bunny voice. You have the time to do it. Don\u2019t waste your time worrying.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/No-Copy5738\/\" aria-label=\"No-Copy5738's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">No-Copy5738<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkad6rb-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkad6rb-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I wish I knew what to say this post made me cry.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Just be the best man you can be while you are still here, your family will always appreciate and remember you bro.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Life isn\u2019t fair. I\u2019m sorry sir.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"flex relative \">\n<div class=\"ms-xs py-[2px] min-w-0\">\n<div class=\"flex items-center pe-xs overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col overflow-hidden\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-none flex-row flex-nowrap items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-row items-center overflow-hidden author-name-meta\"><strong><em><a class=\"truncate font-bold text-neutral-content-strong text-12 focus-visible:-outline-offset-1 hover:underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/user\/Sad-Structure2364\/\" aria-label=\"Sad-Structure2364's profile\" aria-haspopup=\"dialog\" aria-expanded=\"false\">Sad-Structure2364<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid grid-cols-[24px_1fr] relative xs:grid-cols-[32px_1fr]\">\n<div class=\"contents\">\n<div class=\"min-w-0 \">\n<div class=\"relative\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkadjfa-comment-rtjson-content\" class=\"md text-14-scalable rounded-2 pb-2xs overflow-hidden pt-2xs\">\n<div id=\"t1_mkadjfa-post-rtjson-content\" class=\"py-0 xs:mx-xs mx-2xs max-w-full scalable-text [--emote-size:20px]\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><em>I\u2019m so sorry for you to have to go through this. As for your daughter, make as many videos as you can, saying happy birthday, high school graduation, wedding. She will cherish this even if she doesn\u2019t remember it in the moment. What you have done matters, she will be who she is in part because of you, and nothing will ever take that away<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h4><strong><em>do you have any OP:????<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>_________________________________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"post-title-t3_1mr7awt\" aria-describedby=\"feed-post-credit-bar-t3_1mr7awt\" aria-label=\"Post Title: AITAH for considering a divorce because my husband hid a major medical truth?\"><em>\u201cAITA for considering a divorce because my husband hid a major medical secret?\u201d<\/em><\/h2>\n<p><em>I (25 F) have been married to my husband (30M) for almost three years now. About a year and a half into our marriage, when we couldn\u2019t conceive, we both got tested. ( i begged him to get tested after visiting different doctors on my own). My results were normal, but his showed azoospermia (zero sperm count) and the kind that wasn\u2019t treatable. Doctors told us there was no hope for natural conception.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>After I insisted and we explored a couple different options we got to know IVF was the only possible treatment if we want our own children. I love children and always dreamt of it and he appreciated the idea with equal enthusiasm too if not more both before and after marriage.\u00a0<\/em><em>Anyway, his family tried their level best to keep us from going ahead with the IVF saying it\u2019s futile and a waste of money but after months we finally got them on board too. Then, even though my body was healthy, I went through painful, invasive procedures for IVF, thinking we were both equally invested in trying and personally suffered serious side effects bcz i was young and all my labs were normal.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The doctor already warned us that i might face side effects bcz of age and good labs but we went ahead nevertheless. Throughout this process, my husband and his family would take him to his doctor appointments without me, which felt strange but I didn\u2019t push at the time. I was only taken when i had to see my doctor because we had to have IVF ICSI.<\/em><em>But because the sperms we retrieved from his body surgically were just a few and all abnormal and immotile our IVF failed. I was devastated and doctors told this was our last option and only round and there\u2019s no hope left so I started thinking seriously about adoption.<\/em><em>Then one day, I accidentally came across a medical document showing that when my husband was 15, he had a surgery where one testicle was removed and the other was operated on to bring it down in its position it hadn\u2019t descended till he was 15 ( the suggested age for this procedure is within 18 months ). This is why he couldn\u2019t father a child naturally and he knew of this surgery all along.<\/em><em>He admitted it when I confronted him. Me and my trust was completely shattered. He and his family had deliberately hidden this from me before marriage and during our fertility journey.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I feel like I was robbed of the choice to decide if I wanted to marry him knowing this, and I endured unnecessary pain emotionally and physically because of the lie. Had he told me earlier I would have just accepted it because I had already understood that motherhood might not be in my fate with him.<\/em><em>What\u2019s worse is that instead of remorse, he started manipulating me and telling me I\u2019m \u201csinful,\u201d \u201cungrateful,\u201d and that I never valued what he gave me and i was just looking for a way out and found my reasoning.<\/em><em>Although that\u2019s not true and i love him more than anything i just can\u2019t understand how can he do that to me i have accepted his anger outbursts, periodic joblessness infertility narcissistic tactics everything only for him to make me feel that way now when i was already so broken.<\/em><em>He twists the story to make it seem like I\u2019m abandoning him over a medical issue, when in reality, it\u2019s the deliberate deception and emotional harm that I can\u2019t live with.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Now, I want to separate. He refuses to divorce me but says he will agree to a mutual separation if I return the dowry and gifts, which I\u2019m willing to do. He keeps telling me I\u2019m sinful and ungrateful for wanting to leave, which makes me feel guilty and confused. (EDIT: dowry and gifts include jewelry in our culture that husband n his relatives gift the wife n wife\u2019s family does the same for the other side )\u00a0<\/em><em>For clarity: I come from a religious and conservative family, this was my first intimate partner so I couldn\u2019t figure out his surgical history.\u00a0<\/em><em>HIS SIDE: He says he hid it from me because he didn\u2019t Know it will affect his fertility and when the reports came, he chose not to share it out of care and love because he found me very disturbed already and didn\u2019t want to worry me further and that he didn\u2019t lie, just kept some truth to himself.\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f643.svg\" alt=\"\ud83d\ude43\" \/>\u00a0<\/em><em>Mind you i had a minor medical history and i told him everything in detail before marriage so he had a chance then too but he chose not to.\u00a0<\/em><em>Now i don\u2019t know how\u2019s that logical, but my close friends and family believe his reasoning is just manipulation and the fact he is still not owning up and turning it around on me shows moving on with him wouldn\u2019t be wise at all.\u00a0<\/em><em>My questions for you: 1. Would you consider this level of dishonesty a dealbreaker? 2. Is it wrong for me to leave, even though he says he \u201cloves\u201d me? 3. How do I stop feeling guilty when deep down I know I was deceived? I\u2019m so heartbroken and years with him n his narcissistic ways have effed up my logical brain.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2><em>Here\u2019s what people had to say to OP:<\/em><\/h2>\n<p><em>Araveni\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>1.) yes. He subjected you to MULTIPLE futile medical procedures knowing they would be futile<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>2.) Leave. Now. Find someone who loves you more than his own ego and pride.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>3.) You are literally the only person in this situation who should NOT feel guilty.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Cute-Profession9983\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The only sinful people here are the lying, manipulative liar who oyt you through unnecessary pain and trauma and the family that helped him. Keep the damn dowry. It\u2019s the least he owes you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Affectionate_Beach45\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>He can\u2019t \u201crefuse\u201d to divorce. He can create a contentious, difficult situation, but he can\u2019t hold you hostage, especially with the ammunition you have. He and his family are gremlins. You absolutely cannot withhold something as major as infertility from a potential spouse, but they knew it would be a deterrent to many women, so they lied with no remorse.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>They\u2019re despicable. Nothing ties you to him. Get out now. You\u2019ll find someone better, I promise. You\u2019re still very young and can have the children you desire.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>TararaBoomDA\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If I were in your position, I would be VERY tempted to sue him for fraud, given that he married you under false pretenses. Dealbreaker? YES! Wrong to leave him? NO! NO! NO!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If he truly \u201cloves\u201d you, he wouldn\u2019t have lied to you in the first place, and he wouldn\u2019t be acting like such a dickwad. So, don\u2019t feel guilty. Because the only one here who should feel guilty is the lying liar. And the lying liar ain\u2019t you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>OP responded:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>That\u2019s what my father thinks too, specifically the fraud and suing thing<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>GnomePun\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If he were honest, I\u2019d stay. The willful deceit makes him permanently untrustworthy. I wouldn\u2019t want to live my life that way. Always doubting my partner words, actions intentions.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>OP responded:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yeah i chose to stay anyway and give up on my dream of motherhood which was devastating knowing we will now never be able to have our children but when I found out he wasn\u2019t being truthful then everything changed. It broke me in the worst possible way because i had so much empathy and love for him and the emotional abuse that followed made it all worse\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji\" role=\"img\" draggable=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f614.svg\" alt=\"\ud83d\ude14\" \/><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Usual_Bumblebee_8274\u00a0said:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Wow. Nta. Honey- he put you through hell. On purpose. He wasted a lot of money, time &amp; put strain\/pain on your health. To manipulate. He still isn\u2019t sorry. He\u2019s still playing games &amp; not owning up to what he did. I am assuming you are not in the states (since there is a dowry\/gifts) so I don\u2019t know about where you are from but most places- you don\u2019t need his permission for a divorce.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I don\u2019t think love is that manipulative. He sounds so petty &amp; selfish. To put you through all of that (his family too). I mean you know they all thought they were smart &amp; playing you (helping him deceive you). They probably had a good laugh. I don\u2019t understand why the drs didn\u2019t inform you, they should have. The real question isn\u2019t how you should move past this- it\u2019s why you would want to<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>OP responded:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I was never taken to the doctors that could have told me that he went alone or with his family i only met the doctor when my bit of the IVF process started with gynecologist while his was a urologist and m assuming doctors must have thought i knew everything like normal couples do.<\/em><\/p>\n<h1>what is your OP????<\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m 34, I\u2019m dying, and I\u2019m fucking terrified. I have terminal brain cancer. I\u2019m not even sure I want to say what kind. Doesn\u2019t matter. It\u2019s the kind that wins. &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story-daily"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=369"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":371,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions\/371"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextstoryus.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}